Yeah, Uh-huh One More Saturday Night

Saturday night was, of course, The World's Shittiest Costume Party, aka Stefan's 31st Birthday Party. I made a run to "Save on 5th" for $3.50 worth of party supplies (black duct tape, $1.50; big cardboard box, $1.99) as well as four light bulbs for $1.99 and a glass jar that holds a candle for 70 cents. You really do save at this place on 5th.

I got home and got to work:

A couple hours and a lot of head-sweat later, I had a perfect, brilliantly shitty guitar made out of a cardboard box, duct tape and nylon rope:


I took it for a quick test drive and was ready to rock, and by rock, I mean party:

Here are the hosts. From right to left, you have Birthday Guy Stefan as a shitty storm trooper and Biz as shitty slave Leia. If this recap leaves you hungry for more photos and commentary from this soon-to-be-legendary event, or if you've always wondered what a detective would like like if he had a dildo for a hand, check out Biz's summary at PrincessPonyPartyAmazing.

A lot of cardboard costume in this shot.

Here, going from left to right, you have Jaime and Jay as shitty David Wright and Wild, Wild West, disrespectively. Get it? She's Will Smith's shittiest movie. This costume operates at a high level.

In addition to shitty beer (it was actually just-fine Bud but, well, you know - this is Park Slope) and wine, mixed drinks named Number 1 and Number 2 were available:

I started with a cup of the Number 1, which was a sweet, beach-oriented drink with banana and coconut flavors. I moved onto the Number 2 which tasted like Long Island Iced Tea and napalm. Then it was on to trusty old Bud Heavy cans for the rest of the night. But I imagine I speak for myself and most of the partygoers when I say that Stefan's and my karaoke performance was the most intoxicating thing anybody served:

"You know where you are?"

"You're in the jungle, baby."

Later in the evening, some costume judging happened and Jay, Jaime and I accounted for 60% of the finalists. We are joined onstage by (right to left) Bad Habit and eventual prize-winner* "Stefan Sux"** (note the devil horns), who each accounted for 20% of the finalists.

* I believe the prize was a shitty cardboard keyboard for some reason.
** I'm not sure it comes across in this picture, but this was a fantastic costume and she was a deserving and grateful winner. She was happy about her prize to the point of being somewhat emotional about it.

Here are the hosts busting out a little karaoke. If it looks like they really know what they're doing, it's probably because they were up late the night before, practicing. The karaoke machine was a three-day rental and if you don't think they got their money's worth out of it, then I don't even know.

I'm not sure if this was in response to a noise complaint or a preemptive measure in anticipation of one, but the karaoke operation was moved inside at some advanced stage of the party. Everyone (everyone) teamed up at one point for a soaring "How's it Gonna Be?" that truly brought down the house (in other words, all of us singers received thunderous applause from and for ourselves).

"(l. to r.): Jay, Angela and Stefan enjoy Late-Night Group Indoor Karaoke."

The party finally broke around 3:30 and I headed home, sat down on my couch, realized I was hungry, and walked to the diner for a bacon cheeseburger, fries, and mozzerella sticks.

Sunday's accomplishments were minimal.